Lord
when I went to Evensong today
I said that I couldn’t pretend
I was going
for some holy or ‘religious’ reason.
I wasn’t really going
to worship You -
but I did want to be with You.
I wasn’t going to look good,
to be thought of as ‘holy’ and ‘righteous’.
(Though You know sometimes I have done that.)
I wasn’t expecting a marvel,
a miracle, a Word-Of-God.
(Though if that’s what You’d wanted to do that’s fine.)
I just wanted to go
to be with You,
to rest in Your peace,
to take time out from the world
in Your house,
with others that also love You,
and to say thanks.
Thank you that You accepted me
and met me where I was,
not demanding I be something
that I’m not.
Thank you for letting me rest
in the armchair of Your Love,
giving me strength
and refreshment;
an inner peace and calm
that is not touched by the world’s maelstrom.
25th June 98
Friday, 13 January 2012
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Jesus - thoughts at Pentecost 1998
Who are you Jesus?
What are you all about?
Are you really God
as well as man?
“Of one being with the Father”
- so do we worship you?
Or is that bypassing God?
Yet you continually pointed us to the Father
as the one to worship.
So did the worship - Jesus - cult
come afterwards?
Did the first church worship you?
Or just follow your teachings?
They proclaimed you Messiah -
the Anointed One -
the Christ.
Did they expect the Messiah
to be God - as - man
or a special leader?
But they expected someone
to rule on earth
in an Israel earthly kingdom,
and you said it wasn’t like that.
Does ‘Emmanuel’, God-with-us,
mean physically with us as a man
or spiritually with us through a man,
as through many other men and women?
Are we all potential ‘emmanuels’
if we allow God to be in us
and work through us
to be in the world?
It’s so hard to find the real Jesus
since we don’t know
how much of the Gospels
is what he actually did and said,
and how much has been added
or changed
or interpreted.
Yet we all interpret God
in terms of our own experiences
and learning -
how could it be otherwise?
But I do sometimes feel
that we lay so much emphasis on Jesus
that we miss God the Father
whom Jesus himself worshipped.
It’s 2,000 years
since Jesus lived on earth.
We’ve allowed so much clutter
to build up in all that time
that it’s sometimes hard to tell
what God wants
from what tradition and history
and Church want.
O God whose name is Love,
True God who lives behind all the clutter,
help us to see who you really are
and what you really want.
Forgive us
when we allow ‘good things’,
‘nice things’,
‘decent things’,
‘holy and church things’
to get in the way of God things.
Help us to be brave enough
to clear out the clutter;
and help us to see clearly
what exactly is clutter!
Let Love bring us all together
in a big embrace
of common purpose,
the purpose of life itself,
LOVE.
31st May 98
Picture found by Google search from http://davidwilliamson.blogspot.com/
What are you all about?
Are you really God
as well as man?
“Of one being with the Father”
- so do we worship you?
Or is that bypassing God?
Yet you continually pointed us to the Father
as the one to worship.
So did the worship - Jesus - cult
come afterwards?
Did the first church worship you?
Or just follow your teachings?
They proclaimed you Messiah -
the Anointed One -
the Christ.
Did they expect the Messiah
to be God - as - man
or a special leader?
But they expected someone
to rule on earth
in an Israel earthly kingdom,
and you said it wasn’t like that.
Does ‘Emmanuel’, God-with-us,
mean physically with us as a man
or spiritually with us through a man,
as through many other men and women?
Are we all potential ‘emmanuels’
if we allow God to be in us
and work through us
to be in the world?
It’s so hard to find the real Jesus
since we don’t know
how much of the Gospels
is what he actually did and said,
and how much has been added
or changed
or interpreted.
Yet we all interpret God
in terms of our own experiences
and learning -
how could it be otherwise?
But I do sometimes feel
that we lay so much emphasis on Jesus
that we miss God the Father
whom Jesus himself worshipped.
It’s 2,000 years
since Jesus lived on earth.
We’ve allowed so much clutter
to build up in all that time
that it’s sometimes hard to tell
what God wants
from what tradition and history
and Church want.
O God whose name is Love,
True God who lives behind all the clutter,
help us to see who you really are
and what you really want.
Forgive us
when we allow ‘good things’,
‘nice things’,
‘decent things’,
‘holy and church things’
to get in the way of God things.
Help us to be brave enough
to clear out the clutter;
and help us to see clearly
what exactly is clutter!
Let Love bring us all together
in a big embrace
of common purpose,
the purpose of life itself,
LOVE.
31st May 98
Just as I am
Thank you God
that you lead me gently
by the hand,
with love and encouragement.
Thank you that you know my fears,
my imagined ‘hurty’ places,
and lovingly help me see
my fears melt away
like mist in the morning sun.
Thank you that you’re with me,
just where I am -
not waiting ahead
for me to catch up,
to be good enough;
not dragging me impatiently along
by the hand;
but walking with me
by my side,
waiting when I need rest
skipping with me when I’m excited
and picking me up
when I fall over.
Thank you that you know me,
Thank you that you understand me,
Thank you that you love me,
Just the way I am now.
24th May 98
N.B. ‘Hurty places’ refers to my 4 yr old daughter whose fear of her scratches and grazes was always much greater than the injury itself!
Picture from Google search http://www.mentalhelp.net/
that you lead me gently
by the hand,
with love and encouragement.
Thank you that you know my fears,
my imagined ‘hurty’ places,
and lovingly help me see
my fears melt away
like mist in the morning sun.
Thank you that you’re with me,
just where I am -
not waiting ahead
for me to catch up,
to be good enough;
not dragging me impatiently along
by the hand;
but walking with me
by my side,
waiting when I need rest
skipping with me when I’m excited
and picking me up
when I fall over.
Thank you that you know me,
Thank you that you understand me,
Thank you that you love me,
Just the way I am now.
24th May 98
N.B. ‘Hurty places’ refers to my 4 yr old daughter whose fear of her scratches and grazes was always much greater than the injury itself!
Growing
I reach out to You,
You reach out to me.
There is joy in our faces
As I grow.
7th Aug. 96
Picture found by Google search from http://photographytkdesigns.blogspot.com/
The need to be loved
What do we most want in life?
We want to be loved.
We want to be special,
to be wanted,
to be respected, admired,
thought highly of -
to be loved.
We may do many things
to try to achieve this goal:
lose weight,
dress differently,
buy things,
study.
But basically what we are saying is
“I’m special too! I deserve to be loved.”Yet we are all special.
We are all created by and for love.
Why then do we spend so much time,
energy,
money
trying to deserve love?
Take me..
in my dreams I want to be
some special kind of ‘holy’ person.
Someone who is wise, all - knowing.
Someone who is peaceful and contented.
Someone who is admired and respected
for her ‘goodness’ and serenity.
Someone who is just a little bit
different from the ordinary
in the way she dresses, acts
and thinks.
What am I doing?
The same as everyone else -
“I’m different from you.
I’m more special than you.
Surely I deserve to be loved?”
Child,
You are special,
You are loved.
You don’t have to earn it
by being the best at anything.
You don’t have to be slim
and beautiful.
You don’t have to be intellectual
or rich.
You don’t have to dress
or behave in a certain way.
You just have to be.
You are loved
because you are.
Walk in my love,
bathe in my love,
bask in love’s glory.
Be love
in all you are
and all you do.
You are loved,
you are the child of Love
and so is all around you.
Love
and be loved.
That is the foundation of being.
LOVE.
28th May 96
My late husband (Why 'late'? What a strange term!) with our daughter, many years ago.
We want to be loved.
We want to be special,
to be wanted,
to be respected, admired,
thought highly of -
to be loved.
We may do many things
to try to achieve this goal:
lose weight,
dress differently,
buy things,
study.
But basically what we are saying is
“I’m special too! I deserve to be loved.”Yet we are all special.
We are all created by and for love.
Why then do we spend so much time,
energy,
money
trying to deserve love?
Take me..
in my dreams I want to be
some special kind of ‘holy’ person.
Someone who is wise, all - knowing.
Someone who is peaceful and contented.
Someone who is admired and respected
for her ‘goodness’ and serenity.
Someone who is just a little bit
different from the ordinary
in the way she dresses, acts
and thinks.
What am I doing?
The same as everyone else -
“I’m different from you.
I’m more special than you.
Surely I deserve to be loved?”
Child,
You are special,
You are loved.
You don’t have to earn it
by being the best at anything.
You don’t have to be slim
and beautiful.
You don’t have to be intellectual
or rich.
You don’t have to dress
or behave in a certain way.
You just have to be.
You are loved
because you are.
Walk in my love,
bathe in my love,
bask in love’s glory.
Be love
in all you are
and all you do.
You are loved,
you are the child of Love
and so is all around you.
Love
and be loved.
That is the foundation of being.
LOVE.
28th May 96
My late husband (Why 'late'? What a strange term!) with our daughter, many years ago.
Be-ing
Be-ing
What do I want?
How can I put it?
I want to BE!!
What is this mystery that we call life?
I want to BE part of it - I am part of it.
But what does that mean?
How should I live?
How should I be?
I can feel the answer
almost within my grasp at times -
and then it slips away again
between my fingers,
refusing to be caught.
But I’m not giving up!!!I’ll gather all the little bits
left in my hands,
hoarding them
and puzzling over them
until I’ve got them all!
Then we shall see!!!!
“Now I see through a glass darkly,
but then face to face...”
O Great One,
yet Close One,
Father,
Mother,
whoever You are;
You call to me
and I respond
lovingly,
joyfully,
expectantly.
Thank you.
Praise be!
10th May 96
Picture found on Google search from http://fumccoppell.org/439776.ihtml
What do I want?
How can I put it?
I want to BE!!
What is this mystery that we call life?
I want to BE part of it - I am part of it.
But what does that mean?
How should I live?
How should I be?
I can feel the answer
almost within my grasp at times -
and then it slips away again
between my fingers,
refusing to be caught.
But I’m not giving up!!!I’ll gather all the little bits
left in my hands,
hoarding them
and puzzling over them
until I’ve got them all!
Then we shall see!!!!
“Now I see through a glass darkly,
but then face to face...”
O Great One,
yet Close One,
Father,
Mother,
whoever You are;
You call to me
and I respond
lovingly,
joyfully,
expectantly.
Thank you.
Praise be!
10th May 96
Night Prayer
Night Prayer
Thank you my God
for the night,
that inbetween time
when today has gone
and tomorrow has not yet begun.
Help me to tidy away
the cares of today,
and to resist the temptation
to pick up the cares of tomorrow;
that my mind
and body
and spirit
may be at rest
in this time You have given me.
7th Feb. 96
Image found by Google search http://blogs.inquirer.net/happynest/2008/10/21/say-thanks-before-you-sleep/
Thank you my God
for the night,
that inbetween time
when today has gone
and tomorrow has not yet begun.
Help me to tidy away
the cares of today,
and to resist the temptation
to pick up the cares of tomorrow;
that my mind
and body
and spirit
may be at rest
in this time You have given me.
7th Feb. 96
Candle
Candle
A candle lit in daytime.
A deliberate act
of adding light to the world.
A symbol of the everlasting Light
which will never go out.
A light to bring needs to,
feeling the warmth enveloping those needs,
bringing comfort and hope.
A softness,
a fierce power,
a bright little light,
a friend in the darkness.
A promise that needs are met,
prayers are heard,
that evil and darkness will be overcome.
A giver of courage and strength,
an assurance and reassurance.
God is here - always.
9th Sept. 96
Picture found on Google search. http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bestand:Candle-flame-no-reflection.jpg
A candle lit in daytime.
A deliberate act
of adding light to the world.
A symbol of the everlasting Light
which will never go out.
A light to bring needs to,
feeling the warmth enveloping those needs,
bringing comfort and hope.
A softness,
a fierce power,
a bright little light,
a friend in the darkness.
A promise that needs are met,
prayers are heard,
that evil and darkness will be overcome.
A giver of courage and strength,
an assurance and reassurance.
God is here - always.
9th Sept. 96
Welcome!
Hello kind visitor. Welcome to my new blog!
I've been writing my other blog - Hawthorne's Patchwork - for just over a year now, but felt the need for a different outlet too. I've been writing 'poems' and thoughts for as long as I can remember and thought I'd share some with you. As with anyone's writings you will (I hope!) find some that speak to you or help you clarify your own thoughts, and others will not appeal to you at all - enjoy the ones that ring bells and ignore the rest! I do not claim in any way to be a literary person, I just find that writing helps me sort out my feelings and hope it helps you too.
Enjoy your visit and come back soon! x x
I've been writing my other blog - Hawthorne's Patchwork - for just over a year now, but felt the need for a different outlet too. I've been writing 'poems' and thoughts for as long as I can remember and thought I'd share some with you. As with anyone's writings you will (I hope!) find some that speak to you or help you clarify your own thoughts, and others will not appeal to you at all - enjoy the ones that ring bells and ignore the rest! I do not claim in any way to be a literary person, I just find that writing helps me sort out my feelings and hope it helps you too.
Enjoy your visit and come back soon! x x
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