Honest Evensong

Lord
when I went to Evensong today
I said that I couldn’t pretend
I was going
for some holy or ‘religious’ reason.
I wasn’t really going
to worship You -
but I did want to be with You.

I wasn’t going to look good,
to be thought of as ‘holy’ and ‘righteous’.
(Though You know sometimes I have done that.)
I wasn’t expecting a marvel,
a miracle, a Word-Of-God.
(Though if that’s what You’d wanted to do that’s fine.)
I just wanted to go
to be with You,
to rest in Your peace,
to take time out from the world
in Your house,
with others that also love You,
and to say thanks.

Thank you that You accepted me
and met me where I was,
not demanding I be something
that I’m not.

Thank you for letting me rest
in the armchair of Your Love,
giving me strength
and refreshment;
an inner peace and calm
that is not touched by the world’s maelstrom.

25^th June 98