On a clear starry night with a pair of binoculars

Limits!
So  many  limits!
If  we  could  only  SEE........!!
Oh  the  things,
the  sights, the  sounds,
the  smells, the  feelings.....
And  why  only  these  senses?
What  if  we  had  other  senses  too?
Ones  my  tiny  imagination
dares  not  even  hope  for,
cannot  even  formulate....
the  limits, Lord,
the  LIMITS!
I  cannot  comprehend
the  vastness  of  our  galaxy,
(Or  even  our  planet
for  that  matter)
 let  alone  any  other  galaxies
and  universe  that  might  exist.
There’s  just  so  much, Lord,
and  my  knowledge  is  so  puny
by  comparison
that  it’s  less  than  the  tiniest
thing  I  can imagine.

How  can  I  ever  hope
to  understand  You,
to  know  You,
to  try  to  put  You  in  a  little  box  labelled  
“Everything  there  is  to  know  about  God”?
How  can  I  ever  hope
to  know  the  heights,
the  depths, the  width,
the  dimensions  of  You, Lord,
when  I  can’t  even  comprehend
one  tiny  universe
of  many  that  You  have  made?


You  are  beyond  me, Lord,
in  Your  vastness,
Yet  You  are  within  me
in  Your  tinyness.
From  the  hugestness  I  can  imagine
to  the  tiniest, microscopicness
I  can  imagine,

Lord  You  are  there.

I  am  speechless  before  You.

5th  August  1986

Picture found with Google images http://kendrive.blog.co.uk/2009/11/16/the-stars-at-night-are-big-and-bright-7383565/

On Good Friday

I  don’t  know  
what  it’s  truly  all about,
or  why  it  had  to  happen;
but, if  nothing  else,
I  light  this  candle
out  of  respect
for  a  man  who  died  a  horrible  death.
And  I  pray
for  all  those  today
dying  a  horrible  death -
whether  from  disease
or  torture
or  hunger
or  whatever  the  cause.
Jesus,
You  have  been  there,
You  know  what  it’s  like;
be  with  them.


And  I  pray  too
for  all  the  grieving  relatives
who  must  watch,
helpless,
while  their  loved  ones  die.
Mary,
you  watched  your  son  die;
be  with  them.


I  light  this  candle
and  pray  that  all  darkness
may  be  banished  forever.


Amen.  May - it - be - so.


5th  April  1996

Picture from Google images  http://visitaiglesia.net/2012/?p=390

Victoria's Grace

This grace evolved at my baby daughter's feed times. The photos are of her when she was a chubby bubby: she's a beautiful, slim 18 year old now!



The  Lord  bless  your  food  to  you, darling.
The  Lord  be  praised  I’ve  food  to  give  you.
The  Lord  be  praised  I’ve  you  to  give  food  to!
Amen.


15th April 1994

God's glory

A happy poem for a change. Most of my poems are written when I'm feeling down, to help me sort out what's going on: I do have happy times too, but I'm too busy enjoying them to try to put the feelings into words!

Glory to You my God


Glory to You my God
who made the sun
to burst out upon us
and flood us with light, warmth and cheer!

Glory to You my God
who made the wind
to whistle and roar
and blow away the cobwebs in our minds!

Glory to You my God
who dances on the sunbeams
and whirls round with the wind
for very joy in Your creation!

Glory to You my God for ever and for ever!
19^th Feb. 1993


Picture from Google images http://www.golfwrx.com/forums/topic/550041-what-does-tiger-have-to-do-to-be-back/page__st__60 to You my God

Sunset sky

Sky Reflection

Lord,

Today You made the sky

a reflection of the sea.

I saw it all Lord -

each wave, each ripple,

like tiny creases in the sky.

The clouds were ripple - marked

like the hard sand

when the tide goes out:

I could even see

the gentle breakers

moving slowly over the white cloud - beach,

the blue - sky islands jutting out

and the foamy wave heads

where wave meets wave,

golden with the soon setting sun.

23^rd May 1986

Picture found using Google images http://porbital.deviantart.com/art/Ripple-Sky-107159489

Bad weather feelings

This is also on my other blog http://hawthornespatchwork.blogspot.com/ so apologies to those who've already seen it.

On a windy, rainy night

(Prayer of an undiagnosed S.A.D. sufferer)

Lord,

forgive me the times

I let fear get the better of me -

when a grey day makes me feel gloomy,

when the wind’s roaring scares me,

when the darkness outside as night approaches

seeps into my mind also.

Help me not to let

these natural things affect my moods,

remembering that You created them,

You caused them to be,

You set the rules for them.

Let me instead

rejoice in the variety of weather

You have made,

the turning of the seasons,

the circle of day and night,

seeing them in their wholeness and balance

with daytime, sunshine, and calmness.

Help me to learn from them, Lord,

the lessons You can teach;

that darkness and bad weather

don’t last forever -

the sun will come again

and that we need sun and rain

to grow strong and tall.

And,

if I cannot do either of these Lord,

hold my hand

and sit with me

until the moods pass

and I am myself again.

Amen.

21^st March 1999

Picture found using Google images http://www.picturecorrect.com/tips/photography-in-bad-weather-tips-and-techniques/

Fear of failure

I have a secret to admit to you....whenever I start to write in a new notebook I just have to leave the first page blank. It looks so beautifully clean and unsullied that I can't bear to spoil it by putting my scrawl on it. Sometimes I even start at the back of the book, working my way forwards! If I had beautiful calligraphic handwriting, and had something outstandingly wise to say, then I'd go for it but until then my habit remains.

I began to wonder if sometimes I approach each new day like this, and that's how this 'poem' got written.



A blank sheet of paper,
So new,
So clean,
So full of promise
Yet so full of fear -
Fear of failing
Fear of spoiling it
Fear of going wrong and making a mess.

Be confident
Like a child.
Enjoy making the marks.
You don’t expect a child
To draw a masterpiece do you?
Don’t you praise her efforts
And feel pride in what she can achieve
At her age?
So it is with you.
You are not perfect.
You are where you are
And nobody can expect you to be anywhere else.
Have fun!
And if you make a mistake,
Well, never mind -
Throw it away and start again.
I love you.
I am proud of you.
I enjoy what you do.
So go to it!

6^th Dec. 98

Picture found using Google images http://www.reading-with-kids.com/readingactivities.html

Honest Evensong

Lord
when I went to Evensong today
I said that I couldn’t pretend
I was going
for some holy or ‘religious’ reason.
I wasn’t really going
to worship You -
but I did want to be with You.

I wasn’t going to look good,
to be thought of as ‘holy’ and ‘righteous’.
(Though You know sometimes I have done that.)
I wasn’t expecting a marvel,
a miracle, a Word-Of-God.
(Though if that’s what You’d wanted to do that’s fine.)
I just wanted to go
to be with You,
to rest in Your peace,
to take time out from the world
in Your house,
with others that also love You,
and to say thanks.

Thank you that You accepted me
and met me where I was,
not demanding I be something
that I’m not.

Thank you for letting me rest
in the armchair of Your Love,
giving me strength
and refreshment;
an inner peace and calm
that is not touched by the world’s maelstrom.

25^th June 98

Jesus - thoughts at Pentecost 1998

Who are you Jesus?
What are you all about?
Are you really God
as well as man?
“Of one being with the Father”
- so do we worship you?
Or is that bypassing God?
Yet you continually pointed us to the Father
as the one to worship.
So did the worship - Jesus - cult
come afterwards?
Did the first church worship you?
Or just follow your teachings?

They proclaimed you Messiah -
the Anointed One -
the Christ.
Did they expect the Messiah
to be God - as - man
or a special leader?
But they expected someone
to rule on earth
in an Israel earthly kingdom,
and you said it wasn’t like that.

Does ‘Emmanuel’, God-with-us,
mean physically with us as a man
or spiritually with us through a man,
as through many other men and women?
Are we all potential ‘emmanuels’
if we allow God to be in us
and work through us
to be in the world?
　
It’s so hard to find the real Jesus
since we don’t know
how much of the Gospels
is what he actually did and said,
and how much has been added
or changed
or interpreted.
Yet we all interpret God
in terms of our own experiences
and learning -
how could it be otherwise?

But I do sometimes feel
that we lay so much emphasis on Jesus
that we miss God the Father
whom Jesus himself worshipped.
It’s 2,000 years
since Jesus lived on earth.
We’ve allowed so much clutter
to build up in all that time
that it’s sometimes hard to tell
what God wants
from what tradition and history
and Church want.

O God whose name is Love,
True God who lives behind all the clutter,
help us to see who you really are
and what you really want.
Forgive us
when we allow ‘good things’,
‘nice things’,
‘decent things’,
‘holy and church things’
to get in the way of God things.
Help us to be brave enough
to clear out the clutter;
and help us to see clearly
what exactly is clutter!
Let Love bring us all together
in a big embrace
of common purpose,
the purpose of life itself,
LOVE.

31^st May 98

Picture found by Google search from http://davidwilliamson.blogspot.com/

Just as I am

Thank you God
that you lead me gently
by the hand,
with love and encouragement.

Thank you that you know my fears,
my imagined ‘hurty’ places,
and lovingly help me see
my fears melt away
like mist in the morning sun.

Thank you that you’re with me,
just where I am -
not waiting ahead
for me to catch up,
to be good enough;
not dragging me impatiently along
by the hand;
but walking with me
by my side,
waiting when I need rest
skipping with me when I’m excited
and picking me up
when I fall over.

Thank you that you know me,
Thank you that you understand me,
Thank you that you love me,
Just the way I am now.


24^th May 98

N.B. ‘Hurty places’ refers to my 4 yr old daughter whose fear of her scratches and grazes was always much greater than the injury itself!

Picture from Google search http://www.mentalhelp.net/

Growing

I reach out to You,

You reach out to me.

There is joy in our faces

As I grow.

7^th Aug. 96

Picture found by Google search from http://photographytkdesigns.blogspot.com/

The need to be loved

What do we most want in life?
We want to be loved.
We want to be special,
to be wanted,
to be respected, admired,
thought highly of -
to be loved.

We may do many things
to try to achieve this goal:
lose weight,
dress differently,
buy things,
study.
But basically what we are saying is
“I’m special too! I deserve to be loved.”Yet we are all special.
We are all created by and for love.
Why then do we spend so much time,
energy,
money
trying to deserve love?

Take me..
in my dreams I want to be
some special kind of ‘holy’ person.
Someone who is wise, all - knowing.
Someone who is peaceful and contented.
Someone who is admired and respected
for her ‘goodness’ and serenity.
Someone who is just a little bit
different from the ordinary
in the way she dresses, acts
and thinks.
What am I doing?
The same as everyone else -
“I’m different from you.
I’m more special than you.
Surely I deserve to be loved?”

Child,
You are special,
You are loved.
You don’t have to earn it
by being the best at anything.
You don’t have to be slim
and beautiful.
You don’t have to be intellectual
or rich.
You don’t have to dress
or behave in a certain way.
You just have to be.

You are loved
because you are.
Walk in my love,
bathe in my love,
bask in love’s glory.

Be love
in all you are
and all you do.

You are loved,
you are the child of Love
and so is all around you.

Love
and be loved.
That is the foundation of being.
LOVE.

28^th May 96

My late husband (Why 'late'? What a strange term!) with our daughter, many years ago.

Be-ing

Be-ing

What do I want?
How can I put it?
I want to BE!!

What is this mystery that we call life?
I want to BE part of it - I am part of it.
But what does that mean?
How should I live?
How should I be?

I can feel the answer
almost within my grasp at times -
and then it slips away again
between my fingers,
refusing to be caught.
But I’m not giving up!!!I’ll gather all the little bits
left in my hands,
hoarding them
and puzzling over them
until I’ve got them all!
Then we shall see!!!!

“Now I see through a glass darkly,
but then face to face...”
O Great One,
yet Close One,
Father,
Mother,
whoever You are;
You call to me
and I respond
lovingly,
joyfully,
expectantly.
Thank you.
Praise be!

10^th May 96

Picture found on Google search from http://fumccoppell.org/439776.ihtml

Night Prayer

Night Prayer

Thank you my God
for the night,
that inbetween time
when today has gone
and tomorrow has not yet begun.

Help me to tidy away
the cares of today,
and to resist the temptation
to pick up the cares of tomorrow;
that my mind
and body
and spirit
may be at rest
in this time You have given me.


7^th Feb. 96

Image found by Google search http://blogs.inquirer.net/happynest/2008/10/21/say-thanks-before-you-sleep/

Candle

Candle

A candle lit in daytime.
A deliberate act
of adding light to the world.
A symbol of the everlasting Light
which will never go out.
A light to bring needs to,
feeling the warmth enveloping those needs,
bringing comfort and hope.
A softness,
a fierce power,
a bright little light,
a friend in the darkness.
A promise that needs are met,
prayers are heard,
that evil and darkness will be overcome.
A giver of courage and strength,
an assurance and reassurance.
God is here - always.


9^th Sept. 96

Picture found on Google search. http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bestand:Candle-flame-no-reflection.jpg

Welcome!

Hello kind visitor. Welcome to my new blog!

I've been writing my other blog - Hawthorne's Patchwork - for just over a year now, but felt the need for a different outlet too. I've been writing 'poems' and thoughts for as long as I can remember and thought I'd share some with you. As with anyone's writings you will (I hope!) find some that speak to you or help you clarify your own thoughts, and others will not appeal to you at all - enjoy the ones that ring bells and ignore the rest! I do not claim in any way to be a literary person, I just find that writing helps me sort out my feelings and hope it helps you too.

Enjoy your visit and come back soon!  x x